Balancing Our Lives at Equinox
If your calendar goes from September to September as mine does, then
fall Equinox (Sept. 21) is a great time to re-think, to plan the
coming “year” and to re-balance our lives.
Three experiences I had this summer provided me with some lessons and
practices I’d love to share with you:
*****************
The first experience was a moment up at our “ranch” in the Sierra
Ancha Mountains in central Arizona. Picture me at 5500 feet in the
pines, sitting at sunset outside our log cabin, where we have no phone
and no electricity except for the couple of hours when we turn on our
generator at night.
As I’m watching Center Mountain turn gold and pink in front of me, I’m
sipping a glass of wine and puzzling over the patchwork I’ve pinned
together and spread out before me. I’ve cut squares from fabric
samples I’ve collected over the years, which I’ve decided to quilt
into a patch for the old denim chair we brought up here. I need to
cover the wound in the chair’s side that was clawed by our frustrated
city cat. She was born here, and we took her to town to save her from
the wilds. Is she safer there? Am I?
It’s taken me a week to surrender to summer life up here. At first I
was irritable, tired, uninspired. I’ve been grouchy about having to
endure temperatures in the mid-90’s without my precious air
conditioning. I’ve had to learn to get up and make the most of the
mornings. Mid-day is a loss. By 9am I’ve closed the windows, trying to
keep the cool air trapped. I am trapped too, napping, reading and
feeling sapped after a morning of physical work. Nature is in charge.
In town by mid-day I’m accelerating my energy and pace, not slowing
it.
I had no idea how fast I usually move, even at the reduced pace I
supposedly have designed for myself. I have had to discover that by
shedding my hurry in reluctant layers.
Paradoxically, my slowing down has given me the sense of having more
time, not less.
I put down my patchwork and take in the oceanic wave of wind that
travels through the forest. I catch the scent of oncoming rain. My
heart swells with gratitude and I think of the bird I hear each dawn
that must see and call to the first light of day. I think it is a
teacher.
What version of life am I patching together now from the fabrics I’ve
assembled? I hope this year I can make the center square the one that
illustrates pace, slowing down, keeping rhythm with the heartbeat of
the earth.
So, the practice I pass on to you is this: Take some time in
nature to examine the patchwork of your life at the moment. How
many pieces are you trying to assemble? Are you assuming that more is
better, and that a faster pace gives you more time? Try putting
them down, stopping, surrendering in whatever way you can to the
rhythm nature is asking you to match. See how your body and mind
respond to this practice. Wait and see what options occur to you about
pacing and balance in your life.
***
My second experience was flying in our four-seater Cessna on several
trips across the western states. As co-pilot with my husband Jon, I have
to concentrate on helping to fly and navigate, so my only other
activity on some long flights is aerial photography and silent
contemplation.
What I delight in seeing are the patterns and paintings made by Mother
Earth—the tapestries she weaves from trees, rocks, desert sands,
rivers and canyons. Having access to the eagle’s view is such a
privilege. From above I can see landscapes that would be inaccessible
by foot or car. I can see the big picture, the big formations, and
imagine the long journey of evolution that the earth is making.
This experience always stimulates musings about my own long journey.
Flying gives me a view of the patterns and paintings and tapestries I
am weaving. It always gives me a sense of privilege about being here
on earth, in life, and makes me want to be here even more fully. From
above my own life I can see the big picture and imagine the long
journey of evolution my soul is making.
So, the practice I pass on to you at Equinox is to give yourself
the time to experiment with a gentle shamanic journey. In a
quiet, relaxed space, simply close your eyes, relax your body and
imagine yourself flying like the eagle, above the earth and above your
life. Simply see what you see. How does the big picture differ
from the smaller one you have when you are on the ground, involved in
the “pressing” issues of the moment? How does your body respond to
opening to the eagle’s view? Can you feel your heart’s response? What
could your soul, who is on the long journey, be recommending about
balance?
***
The third experience is a book I’m reading: Radical Acceptance,
by Tara Brach. It fits perfectly with my quest to find the right
balance and rhythm for my own life.
Tara Brach is a Buddhist teacher of mindfulness practices-- the same
practices that underlie all the activities at Miraval, where I offer
classes and consultations. So Brach’s points are not new to me. But
somehow the way she presents them is giving me the chance to truly
practice and integrate them.
Brach says that all our emotions form in our body first, and then in
our thoughts. So when we try to chase away thoughts and emotions that
we think are unacceptable, we never get to their source. But when we
can allow those emotions, feel them, accept them without exception, we
can explore where they live and move in our bodies. As we do that, we
discover that they are constantly moving and changing, and so we need
not imagine that we are their prisoners. We can experience them moving
through us, not as distant witnesses but as partners with our bodies
and our selves.
Tara Brach is teaching me to honor where I actually am in a deeper
way. When I do that, I stop rushing past feelings I’d rather not
address. I stop to listen; I surrender the way I had to up at our
ranch. I slow down. And, I remember that my journey is a long one. I
see it from the view of the eagle, who doesn’t judge what it sees. I
feel the connection between my journey and yours, and between our
journey and the earth’s. And everything becomes simpler, slower—and
more balanced.
***
To summarize, the three practices I’m recommending for the Equinox—the
time of balance—are:
1. Take some time in nature to stop and examine the patchwork of
your life. See what happens when you surrender to the rhythm of
the earth. See that you do have choices about how many patches you
assemble and how fast you need to work them.
2. Take a “gentle journey” in your imagination, a meditation on
flying. See what the eagle’s view reveals about the big picture of
your life. Listen to the response of your body and your heart. Take
action to re-balance accordingly.
3. Read Radical Acceptance and try some of Tara Brach’s
practices.
Use the feedback/response form to let
me know how these practices work for you!
Namaste,
Pam
